Bed and Breakfast

Merry Christmas, Friends! It's almost here! Yeah!

I hope this entry finds you doing great and not overwhelmed by all that the Christmas season has to offer. I have found a radio station in our area that plays Christmas music all day long! You would think I would get sick of it, but I don't! I love it!

I wanted to share with you our experience this past weekend. Every year my husband takes me to a bed and breakfast the first weekend after football season is over. It's our "hey, how have you been for the past 6 months" weekend. I look forward to it every year and this year was no different. But this year was different in the experience-so here goes. . .

I get a phone call from my husband on Thursday afternoon. He says he came home from school, sick and he couldn't come to the FCA staff Christmas party. Oh no, it can't be happening this weekend. I came home from the party (yes, I went without him. Free steak for a pregnant girl-I'm in!) and he did not look very good. I went to bed and woke up about 6:30am on Friday morning throwing up. Boo!! I was so sick. We tried to wait it out to see if we felt better and Chris did, but I didn't. I had him call the place and tell them we couldn't come and they informed him that since it was less than 24 hour notice they would have to charge us the full price of the room. He relayed the information to me and I replied, "Give me the phone." I, politely, told the lady that we were so sick and asked if there was anything they could do for us (pay half and we get a discount when we come back) anything at all! We couldn't just be out $200 and say "Oh we will do this again some other time." She, politely, replied to me "I am sorry that is our policy, but maybe if you came, a nice soak in our tub will make you feel better." I, not so politely, replied, "I guess I can throw up in your bathroom as much as I can throw up in mine. So I will suck it up and we will be there."

Yes, I am that stubborn and frugal! I told my husband- "let's go!" Yes, we did go and spent the night at our bed and breakfast with a take out dinner of "Lunchables" and laid in the big nice bed, watching Mission Impossible III between trips to the bathroom. Not our romantic evening I thought we would have, but none the less a memory that some day we will laugh at:)

Hopefully you can get a good laugh! Have a Happy Day!

Samaritan Woman

Hello Friends,

I can't believe I haven't written since Thanksgiving! During the Christmas season, time just seems to go by faster than any other time. Well, we finished up our season on Friday night in the state semi-finals. It was a great season and even though I am looking forward to having my husband back again, I could have went one more week:) I am excited, however, for this weekend. Each year, the first weekend after our season ends my husband takes me to a bed and breakfast to basically say, "How have you been for the last 6 months?" It has been a great tradition that I look forward to every year. This was a result of a lesson we learned being a coaching family-we had to do something to keep the communication lines open and the intimacy alive that can be lost during a hard fought season. We are all learning lessons everyday as wives, moms, professionals, and women.

I wanted to share with you one of the biggest lessons I learned that changed my life in each of these areas. The lesson came from John 4:1-44. I would encourage you to read this before reading on in this entry. Here, we meet a woman that isn't given a name, but is so significant to women today. We will call her the Samaritan woman because she was from a town called Samaria. The Samaritans, in general, were basically outcasts from society for their pagan worship and were considered "unclean" by the Jews. The Jews did not socialize with the Samaritans to say the least so the fact that Jesus would stop and converse with one reveals that Jesus saw this woman like nobody else did-His child. (Just like He sees you and me). In verse 7-Jesus asks the woman for a drink and she questions why He, a Jew, is asking for water from a Samaritan. Jesus replies, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that say to you, 'Give me a drink' you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water." She is confused and asks Him questions about "this water." She finally figures out that Jesus is the living water that will "never make her thirsty again."

He then tells her to go get her husband and she replies, "I have no husband." Jesus then says, "You are right- you do not have a husband for you have had 5 husbands and the one you live with now is not your husband." She believed He was the Christ and was filled with the living water Jesus talked about. I was much like this woman in the fact that I was trying to make my husband fit the role that only Christ can. And still sometimes do. As a woman, we have emotional needs and spiritual needs and we spend our whole life trying to find a man to meet those needs, just like the Samaritan woman, so when our spouse doesn't live up to our expectations we get frustrated and lonely, but the reality is there is only one man that can meet each and EVERY emotional and spiritual need and that is Christ and Christ alone! Jesus, as the living water, makes you never thirst for anything more. Even sometimes today I find that when Chris and I are having problems-most of the time it is because I am trying to put him in a position that he will fail every time because he is incapable of doing only that which Christ can. When I learned this lesson, I promise you-my marriage was better and my relationship with God was better.

I hope sharing my stories will encourage you in yours! God bless you!!

P.S. Baby update- We are now 15 weeks and feeling great!! Yeah!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

What a great time of year! Thanksgiving, for me, can be sometimes overlooked. My decorations for Christmas go up earlier and earlier each year. I am already listening to the 24/7 Christmas music station on my radio. I am really not sure why that is, but I want to take the time and say publicly to the world. . ."I am so thankful!"

I am thankful that even after all the ups and downs of the season, we are still playing. I am thankful that after all the morning sickness, I have passed the first trimester mark and have a little belly to rub:) I am thankful that, although I can't go to my dad's birthday party because we will be playing this weekend, he is turning 61 and is still the best dad in the world! And I am thankful that God spends every day with me, loving me, not in spite of who I am, but because of who I am! Lastly, I am thankful for you! Even though I may not know your name or where you live, I am thankful that you let me come into your lives and let me share what God has done in mine.
"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this , that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
Happy Thanksgiving!!!

The Bell

Hello Friends,

I heard this story and wanted to share it with you today.
The story is told in England that at the time of Oliver Cromwell a young soldier was tried in military court and sentenced to death. He was to be shot at the "ringing of the curfew bell." His fiance climbed up into the bell tower several hours before curfew time and tied herself to the bell's huge clapper. At curfew time, when only muted sounds came out of the bell tower, Cromwell demanded to know why the bell was not ringing. His soldiers went to investigate and found the young woman cut and bleeding from being knocked back and forth against the great bell.

They brought her down and the story goes, Cromwell was so impressed with her willingness to suffer in this way on behalf of someone she loved that he dismissed the soldier saying, "Curfew shall not ring tonight."

What a great story! A story of love and sacrifice which we all know as coaches wives. Someone once said the definition of sacrifice is giving up something you love for something you love even more. Know your sacrifice for you family does not go unnoticed. You are loved and appreciated by your Heavenly father! Oh and I love you too:)

Bake Shop Talk

Hello Friends,

So I was in this little bake shop yesterday (baby needed some no-bake cookies:)). I was waiting on my order when I couldn't help over hear a conversation that was taking place at the table in front of me. Seated at this table were 4 ladies in their late sixties, early seventies. What I expected to hear was talk that included, "So I saw the grandkids this weekend," or "I loved that quilt you made for the church benefit dinner" or "Did you hear Marge's husband passed away yesterday." You know, the stereotypical conversation of older ladies. Not today! These ladies were talking football-college football! And I loved it. I sat there listening to them talk about Oklahoma State's defense during the Texas Tech game and the match up between OU and Texas Tech coming up in a few weeks. They even threw in there votes for this year's Heisman race.

They called my name to pick up my order and I did not want to get up-heck, I wanted a little piece of the seventy year old action, but the baby won this battle. As I got back in my car and was satisfying my (I mean the baby) craving, I couldn't help but smile from ear to ear. I was reminded of what a great game football is and how awesome sports can be, in general. I know we get so bogged down with the ups and downs of sports as coaching families, but I want to remind ourselves of what great games they really are. Our husbands got into this profession for the love of the game. We need to remind them and ourselves of that.

Sports is the one thing that transcends all age boundaries . It is the one thing that you can talk to your grandpa (or grandma) about and it not be awkward. It is the one thing that can bring a family together after Thanksgiving dinner. And it is the one thing that is talked about from TV to Radio to the coffee shop to the bake shop.
SPORTS!! Got to LOVE it!!!!

Great Weekend

Hello Friends,

I just wanted to let you all know what a great weekend we had, and it had nothing to do with football:) Crazy, I know. It was great because at 5:00 on Saturday night I witnessed one of the greatest things of my life-my husband getting baptized. Just so you know, because our church is so big we have services on Saturday and Sunday. Family and Friends were there all to support his decision to "take the plunge." I was sitting there feeling like I was getting ready to watch my husband coach in the state championship or something. I was excited, anxious, a little nervous-all at the same time. To set the scene-our church has a big pool they put up in front of the church for baptisms. While the worship music is playing they bring the individuals who have made this decision to get baptized all out at the same time. There he was-the 4th person in line. They bring each one in the pool one at a time, they ask them questions, and then here it comes. . .a pastor puts them under water and then they shoot up a brand new person. For my husband, this brand new person just happened to shoot up back in college, but he never got baptized. This act was an act of obedience for him. I have watched while God called him into coaching and use it as a ministry and he obeyed, I watched God call him to share his faith in front of hundreds of people and he obeyed, and I have watched God call him to get in the Word and he obeyed and i watched God call him to fight the pride and get baptized and he obeyed. With this one act-he encouraged me and inspired me to listen to God and obey! It is a great honor to follow his spiritual leadership for our family.

As I told you in a previous post this hasn't always been the case so when I was watching, I couldn't help but get overwhelmed with emotion. I have been a part of this man's life from when we were in grade school all the way to his baptism at the age of 31 and I can tell you I wouldn't have missed any of it for the world. The good, the bad, the ugly, the great all led to this moment where I got to see God work in him, creating with in him a man after God's own heart. The answer to many prayers, years of prayers happened on Saturday, November 1 at 5:00. Let this be a testimony that God is Faithful!!! Not in our time, but in His! I can't wait to see where God will take him next.

Baby Update: We had a checkup and everything looks great so far!! 10 weeks woo hoo!

Holding your husband's hand

Ok, so you read the title and you think, this is going to be a lovey, dovey entry. Wrong!! Your husband may or may not be like my husband. Display of affection is made either after a conscious effort or a strong nudge from myself. He tries and has such great qualities, but that is just not his strongest. No, I am talking about something totally different.

There is a story in the bible that is one of my favorites. It is found in Exodus (yes, exodus) 17:8-13. In this story the characters include Moses, Joshua, Aaron, and Hur. God's team (Israelites) were fighting a group called Amalek. Moses told Joshua he would go up to the top of the hill and stand with the staff of God in his hand (vs.9) while Joshua went and fought the Amalek. Starting in verse 11 it says, "Whenever Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed, and whenever he lowered his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses' hands grew tired, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. And Joshua overwhelmed Amalek and his people with the sword."

I love that!!!! That is the best story and such an amazing picture of friendship, family, and the spouse relationship. Ladies, whether you are in your husband's season or you are preparing for your husband's season, there IS going to come a time when he gets weary and tired and you are going to have to hold his hands up. He may be tired of his team-hold his hands up. He may be tired of the media-hold his hands up. He may be tired of losing-hold his hands up. How do you do that: Pray and Words of Encouragement. There is nothing that makes a man stronger than a wife that prays for him daily. There is nothing that builds a man up than words of encouragement from the one person that knows him better than any one else.

And believe me I realize you are tired, heck, I am tired, but that is why we have each other. Wives, to pray for each other and build each other up so that we can in turn hold our husband's hand.

Believe God

Hello my friends!!!

Can I just tell you how excited I am to have such new friends from all over the country brought together by 3 things: faith, family, and football (and/or any other sports-they just didn't start with "F").
First, I want to let you know I received a prayer request from Heather in Kentucky and I want to ask all of the readers to please pray for the Gunner Gillespie family. Gunner was an 8 year old boy who lost his battle with a brain tumor last week. His father is a HS Basketball coach in Kentucky.
God,
We ask that you would please be with the family of Gunner. I know they are hurting right now but I also know that your Word says you are "close to the brokenhearted and save those who are crushed in Spirit." Be their comfort and peace right now. If there is anyone who knows what it means to lose a son it is you Father.
Amen.

I want to share with you a thought that I often speak about. The difference between believing in God and believing God. There is such a huge difference between the two and I hope by the time I share them with you-you are challenged and encouraged.
Let me start by saying, Believing in God will get you about as far as believing in Santa Clause. Not very.The bible tell us in James 2:19 "You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that-and shudder." Those are some powerful words. They teach us that we can't just believe in God we must believe God. So what do I mean by Believe God?

First, Believe God when he says he has a FUTURE for you. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a Future." In the life of sports you never know where you are going to be, where you are going to live, but He does. He has plans and a future for your family. Believe Him!!!

Second, Believe God when he says he is FAITHFUL! In 2 Timothy 2:13 it says, "if we are faithless, he will remain Faithful, for he cannot disown himself."
There is an old Indian legend that says that in order for a boy to become a man, he has to sit outside on a tree stump, in the forest, all night long with his eyes closed. No matter what he hears or feels, he can not open his eyes or he fails. For those boys who succeed they get to open their eyes when they feel the sunshine and what they find is their father was standing beside them the whole night, watching and protecting. They didn't see him-but he was there. They didn't hear him-but his was there. They didn't feel him but his was there! Whatever you are going through right now, remember, you may not feel God, but He is there. You may not see God, but He is there! And you may not hear God-But He is there. Believe HIM!

Third, Believe God when He says you are FORGIVEN! Psalms 103:12 says, as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our sins from us." You may say, "but Sarah, you don't know what I have done." And I will say, God Forgives you! No matter what. You may say, "So why do I still feel guilt and shame." That is not God not forgiving you-that is your spiritual enemy (Satan) not letting you forget. You are Forgiven! Believe Him!!

Lastly, if you miss this part then you have missed the entire message. Believe God when He says, "This is my son whom I am well pleased". . . nobody comes to me except through Him. You see, we don't get to experience God's future, His faithfulness, or His Forgiveness without experiencing His Son, Jesus Christ! This is exciting! We have hope, we have peace, and joy like we never knew before!
I was the biggest Michael Jordan fan growing up. I had his shoes, his posters, his book etc. I knew his stats, career etc. But if I were to walk up to Michael Jordan today and said, "Hey Mike." He would say, "I don't know you." That is the difference. I know of him, but I don't know him.

Believe God today and all that He has in store for you, your husband, and your family!!!

Encouragement to you

Hello Friends,



I can call you my friends because we already have an instant connection. Sports! If you are not at a game you are preparing for a game and if you are not preparing for the game, you are talking about the game, and if you are not talking about the game, you are thinking about the game. It doesn't matter if you are in your husband's season or not: There is no off season!



I wanted to address a comment from a coaches wife that is so true, but the desperation in her heart pierced mine. She commented, "I once had a parent tell me that it is just a GAME. I turned and started crying. It's not "just a game," it's our life. It's whether I get to stay in my house one more year. It's whether I get to keep my job, or move my family, or leave my friends. It's NOT just a game for any of us." There is so much truth to these statements, but one of the things I found most intriguing was not the desperation in her words but the devotion to her husband and her family. Even though we are devoted to our husbands this is a hard profession for the exact reasons she mentioned. The thing I want to encourage each of you is, though it looks like our husband's profession is the hands of teenagers, parents, and/or administrators we need to be reminded (myself included) it doesn't! Where we live, where we coach is in the hands of the God Almighty! The bible says in Proverbs 21:30, "There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord." As Christ followers, God's plan includes your family! What the enemy means for harm, God will always make good come out of it somehow. How awesome is that! We have been given the promise that "He works all things to the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." That includes losing seasons, disgruntled parents, uncooperative adminstrations.

Be encouraged, God is your offensive coordinator. He is in the booth able to see things we can not see on the field. He is in control!!!!

Big News!

I know I am writing on the same day, but i needed to make this a completely different entry. Today was a great day. So you will understand how great of a day it was I have to tell you our story from the beginning. As you can see, we have 2 beautiful children which we love dearly. Unfortunately, we were not able to get pregnant on our own (I have issues). I had to have surgery to get pregnant with both children. We had always wanted 3 children because I come from a family of 3 girls and my husband comes from a family of 3 boys so when we got pregnant on our own, we were elated. We just knew this was a miracle from God! The bad news-at 8 weeks I miscarried. We were so sad, but as the Natalie Grant song says, "We will not be moved." Two months later I found out I was pregnant again! We couldn't believe it. We knew God was faithful and He was going to give us the desire of our hearts: a third child. We went in for an ultrasound and we saw a heartbeat, a faint one, but there was one. We were pumped! At 11 weeks we went in for a follow up and this time there was no heartbeat. Our hearts were crushed. We couldn't do this again. But in that small room, my husband and I, weeping so hard, made a promise: We were going to praise Him when we win and we were going to praise Him when we lose. Spoken like a coach and his wife:) It was hard, don't get me wrong. I had good days, bad days, and even worse days, but I clung to the verse in Psalms that says, "He is close to the brokenhearted and he saves those who are crushed in spirit." That was us and He kept his promise!

That was September of 2007 and in September of 2008 I had made an appointment with my Dr.'s office because I was having some "issues" again. God does things in a mighty way, let me tell you! I made the appointment content with thinking I would never have another child and we were going to get this taken care of permanetly and left the Dr. with a confirmation that I was pregnant!

So why was it a great day today? We had an ultrasound this morning and we got to see our third child's heartbeat, beating at 162 beats per minute which is great!!! They said everything looked normal and perfect! Scripture tells us that "He will remain faithful, even when we are faithless."
Praise God!!!! Please pray for Roberts' family (all 5 of us:))

I'm Back!

Hello ladies,



I am back!!! Thank you so much for your sweet messages and and your patience. As you can see, my blog has been under a makeover! I love it and I hope you do to! I have had so much to tell you and just couldn't wait to get back on line. First, let's talk about the season. We are doing pretty good right now in the win/loss column. We are 5-2 which is pretty good compared to some, but (you knew there was a but coming on), but as for young men I am afraid some of them just don't get it. We have guys inelgible every week because they just don't care about the classroom. They could care less they are letting their team down. We have guys jumping other guys in the lockerroom after practice. They don't get to play, but they don't care. Hopefully, there is some of you out there who know what I am talking about. It is just crazy how you can have teams that win on the field, but lose off. And then you have teams that win off the field, but lose on. Unfortunetly, it is only what they do on the field that our husbands get judged. OH Sports! Gotta love it! Any comments on this would be awesome!!!!!

Not alone

You may read this blog and think 'Someone else is going through what I am.' I want to challenge you to read the comments as well. Coaches and their families are going through situations like this all over the nation. I want you to know "You are not alone." We are all in this together, and we as in you and I, our husbands, children, and the creator of the universe.

I learned a lesson awhile back and I hope it is one that encourages you too. Our spiritual enemy comes at us using two tactics: temptation and opposition. He will tempt you with weakness, trying to get you to stumble in your walk so that the name of Christ for who you stand for will be dragged through the mud. He will come against everything you are and stand for. If you are trying to do the right things and it just doesn't seem like you are, you are being opposed. When you are walking with integrity and their are rumors that you are not-you are being opposed. The lesson comes in how we handle these two tactics. The bible teaches us to flee from temptation and fight opposotion, but we, as humans, tend to do the opposite. We want to fight temptation and flee from opposition.

The enemy tries these tactics on me as a coaches wife all the time. I have been tempted a lot to say things to fans in the stands (nothing that would resemble coming from that of a person in ministry:)) and I think I am fighting that temptation, but once I realized I was to flee from the temptation, I don't sit in the stands anymore. Now, when it comes to being opposed I will fight, fight, fight! But we are not supposed to fight as the world does with more rumors and more hurtful words, no God says in His Word, "Finally be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against people, but against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able stand your ground, after you have done everything, to stand." Ephesians 6:10-13

I know I have a long ways to go for these lesson to mastered, but knowing that I am not alone in the fight gives me encouragement. Fighting with you. . .

Round 2

The paper reads "Kingfisher makes a quarterback change." And so round 2 begins, the father is not real happy about this and my husband is just burdened. Not because he feels he made the wrong decision because he is very much at peace with the decision made to move the starting quarterback to receiver and start a different guy, but that this father is a friend and brother in Christ. We have dealt with parents being unhappy before but never has it entered into our safe place, Church. We are really praying for words of wisdom because what we really want to say are words of emotion and that can get you in trouble.

Being a coaches daughter, I called my parents to seek their words of wisdom and like always, God used them and their experiences to help us through ours. After my dad shared stories of similar situations he went through, my mom said something very profound. She said, "You can view yourselves as victims or you can conduct yourself in such a way that glorifies Christ through how you handle it." Thank you, God, for such amazing parents that lead by example.

I also was doing my quiet time this morning and read Matthew 15:10-20 and Jesus was talking about the words that come out of our mouth are a reflection of our heart. Lord, make my heart like yours. Help me to speak when I need to speak and be quiet when i need to be quiet.

Praying for God's direction for me and all of you out there who are facing similiar situations.

The Husband I always wanted

So last week after my amazing visit with my parent I thought, could my week get any better. Yes, Yes it could. I get a phone call from my husband and he says, "I just did something a little crazy." Now, at this point this comment could mean anything-"took another job", "moving again", "bought a boat," it could have been anything. So I braced myself for what the next sentence held for the Roberts'family, I heard these words "I just signed up to get baptized at church on November 1." As I sat there and listened to my husband tell me why and how this decision came to pass, tears rolled down my face. He explained that God had really been working on him about this. He became a Christian in college, but never got baptized. He felt God was calling him to take a stand for Christ and this was an act of obedience. Let me just fill you in on our story in hopes that it will encourage yours.

We were high school sweethearts and we got married when I was 20 and he was 21. Yes, we were very young, naive, immature and really had no idea what marriage consisted of. Let me paint you a picture of our first two years of marriage. He was a college baseball player who was a rebel and liked to have his fun. I was a bible-beater, self-righteous, youth minister who read scripture over him as a conviction mechanism. He dealt with feelings of "never measuring up to my standards." And I agreed, not with my words, but with my actions. Where was the husband that I deserved and was a "man after God's own heart?"
I was given a book called "The Power of a Praying Wife." It was then that I committed to pray for my husband and pray and pray and pray. When I set out to pray for the change in him I recieved a change in me. God began to change my heart and in turn began to change his as well. I was making the mistake that I would argue, most women make. I was trying to make him fulfill that which only Christ can. There is only one man that can truly be the love of our life, one man that can be our best friend, one man that can fulfill every need-and it isn't our husband, it is JESUS CHRIST. Once I realized this, the bitter, nagging, resentful wife was gone and in turn God started to create a husband I could only dream of.
I have been married to a man that did not lead his family spiritally and I have been married to a man that has led his family spiritually-they just happened to be the same man. In order for him to lead, I had to get out of the way. Now, he gives his testimony to groups, he speaks to different FCA groups and team chapels, and now is getting baptized at the age of 31. Praise God!! We think God needs our help, just a little nudge every once in a while, but he doesn't. You may be exactly where I was, wishing and hoping for your husband to just pray out loud. When your responsiblity is to be faithful and pray! It is the least/most you can do for your husband. Pray expecting your miracle!!! Until next time. . .

Are you serious?

OK, Let me just start off by saying "Are you serious?" As burdened as I was yesterday, I am on cloud 9 day. If you don't believe in the power of prayer and miracles then let me be a living testimony today. If I could jump through this computer and tell you in person I would because I don't feel I convey my true excitement over typing(If you know me, you know I am a very excitable person), but I will try. Well, after I shared yesterday I told you I was going to take my own advice and shut up and pray (which again, if you know me is very hard to do). I prayed for our friends and I prayed for us. I received a text from the parent last night wanting to know if I was coming to bible study. I was so excited for this text, but I couldn't go because it was the one Monday that my husband didn't have a JV game so we were spending some family time which you all know is rare during season. After being sad that I had to decline, but so excited for the invitation I invited her to coffee this morning. We met and let me tell you God was present in that little coffee house.

She first opened up about everything she was going through as a wife, mother, daughter, and worker. Her heart was just so stressed and overwhelmed and then here it came. . . "I am so sorry for how I treated you at the game." All this with tears rolling down her face and I just wanted to love on her. All I could think was "if I was going through everything she was at this point in her life I probably would have ripped someone's head off by now." I know it had to be so hard for her, but I am not sure she will ever know to the full extent what that did for me as a Christ-follower and a coaches wife.

This lesson has encouraged me as a coaches wife because it goes to show: First of all, God is bigger than any situation. Scripture tells us "to be anxious about nothing, but in everything with prayer and petition present your requests to God with thanksgiving." I should have went to God first instead of worrying about it for 2 days first. Second, we can never fully know what people are going through personally. She was my friend and I had no idea she was struggling as much as she was. Ladies, we have an opporunity to shine the light of Christ in dark filled world. I pray that this entry encourages you and challenges you to do just that!!!! Parents, administration, etc. are not our enemy. We have one enemy and he would like nothing more than for us to believe they were. Be encouraged when your husband goes through this. God is Great! Until next time. . .

Tough game

First of all, I want to say thank you so much for your comments. Oh please keep sending them. It encourages me to know I am not alone in this adventure of the coaching profession.

I write today with a somewhat heavy heart. We had our game last Friday and lets just say it was a slaughter and we were the pig. Although I do not like losing that is not the reason for my heavy heart. The heaviness comes from the fact that there are some parents who are quite upset with the coaching staff which includes my husband. Now, I am somewhat used to this phenomenon or at least as used to it as you can be. But what I am not used to, is the fact that it is friends of ours. On one hand, I understand that it is personal because after all it is their son and my son is only 4 so I have never been their shoes. On the other hand, it is personal to me because this is my husband and it breaks my heart that football comes between friends when it shouldn't! They know my husband's heart. They know how hard he works. They know how much time he spends away from his own family. I just don't get it. Maybe someone can enlighten me. It's no wonder that coaches have so many walls built up around them and dont want to trust anybody. And I realize now more than ever that our husbands need us. They need encouragement, they need prayer, they need love, they need support, they need validation, and they need a friend-YOU!!

This actually reminds me of the second lesson God taught me in the story of Job. If you remember, Job's wife said to him, "Why do you insist on keeping your integrity. Curse God and die." Wow! Kick a man while he is down. He just lost his children, servants, everything he owns and that is the best she could come up with. As I reflect on this woman's harsh words I was reminded of how many times I myself have spoke equally harsh words and sometimes those harsh words came when he was down. Our husbands are torn down everyday by other people's harsh words they don't need them from us! Scripture tells us in Ephesians 4:29, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." ACCORDING TO THEIR NEEDS, and our husbands need wholesome talk in their lives. Is this always easy?No! And believe me I
still fail miserably, but I am getting better and you can too!

As for these parents, what I would like to do is drive over to their house and defend my husband, but our spiritual enemy would like nothing more for that to happen so what do I do:PRAY!! Pray for them, pray for us! And above all: stand on the promises of God! I found this verse for all the trophy wives who go through times like these: "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him standing firm in the faith. because you know that your brothers (sisters) throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings." 1 Peter 5:8-9

Until next time. . .

A day to remember

September 11, 2001, a day that can never be forgotten. I can remember exactly what I was doing and where I was when I got the news of the attacks on the twin towers. I was teaching Pre-K at a Catholic school in Edmond, OK. The cook came into our classroom yelling, "We are under attack." "The US is under attack." Not being able to comprehend exactly what she was saying, we all huddled in the director's office watching a little black and white TV and I just couldn't believe what I was seeing and hearing. My country, that I love, was being attacked by terrorists. The realization was we just arent safe anymore-anywhere!

On this day of remembrance I want to remind you that God was and still is with us in the midst of tragedies. The presence of tragedies does not mean the absence of God and the absence of tragedies does not mean the presence of God. As Christ followers, we are in the grip of God at all times. We are able to find peace that passes all understanding in the midst of tragedy. We are able to find hope that the mind can not fathom. We are able to stand firm when the world is crumbling around us. As wives, moms, friends, sisters we can know that in tough times such as this one, our faith begins to transcend between simply believing in God to believing God. When we just believe in God we don't get to experience that hope, peace, and foundation. Scripture tells us in James 2:9 "You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that- and shutter." No, in times like this or in your own personal tragedy simply believing in God will just leave you hopeless and empty inside. When you make that transition to simply believing in God and believing God you are opened to a whole new world. A world where you get to believe God when he says, "He is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in Spirit." (Psalm 34:14) You get to believe God when he says, "He is faithful even when we are faithless."(2 Timothy 2:12) You get to believe God when he says, "For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and future." (Jeremiah 29:11) You get to believe God when he says,"He works all things to the good for those who love him and are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28) Promise after Promise that you can stand on when things happen that you don't understand and that you can't possibly see any good.

In coaching terms God is the offensive coordinator in a sense. The offensive coordinator sees things up in the booth that others just don't see down on the field. 1 Corinthians says it this way, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him." So as we remember this day and all the lives lost and as you endure what ever trial you may be facing today. Know that you are loved and safe in the arms of your heavenly father because that is what the creator of the universe says and you can believe Him!!

Game night

I did not intend on waiting this long to write, but life happens (as you all know). I have been wanting to write about our first game. It started with our usual rituals: putting Chloe in her Kingfisher cheer outfit (even though her daddy promises she will not be a cheerleader), putting Cale in the jersey of his choice for the week (this week was the OU jersey), popping pocorn to take with us and the always needed snacks, toys etc. My kids were so excited about the game that when I picked them up from Miss Tracy's it was not an option to go home before the game so this week I took them to Pizza Hut. A big treat to them! We arrived at the game 30 minutes early to get our corner of the field. We don't sit in the stands because as some one in the ministry it is best I stay as far away from parents as I can before I get kicked out of the ministry for my words:) (A topic to be covered later)

Here it comes, one of the best parts of my night. My kids anxiously waiting outside the dressing room not for the football players, but for a good luck kiss and hug for Coach Daddy! The players yelling and screaming, the excitement is in the air for opening night and out comes daddy. My kids yelling daddy, daddy, daddy! Daddy stops to kiss Cale, then Chloe, then momma! I would be lying if I said my excitement comes just from watching my kids. I am secretly and ever so anxiously waiting my turn for my hug and kiss just like one of the kids. I love it!! Has it always been this way. No! That is why it is such a precious thing to me. This act was just the end of many lessons that had to be learned, lessons for me and him. Although we are still learning how to be a coaching family this is just one act that will always been precious. Football season has begun. Yes, we did win! Yeah!

We are one

So. . .we had a coaches wives nite out for the schools in the Oklahoma City Metro area. I started this last year and has really went over well. So to all my girls-love you! We meet quarterly and eat, have some fun, have a devotion and pray for each other and our husbands. These ladies are just amazing and I love our time together. We met for the first time of the year and you could definitely tell what wives were wives of football coaches. We were all in "game time" mode. The chatter among dinner was "so who do you all open up with this week?" "Do you all fill good about this year?" The usual coaches wives talk the week of opening day. After much laughter, the devotion and prayer time we all went on our ways knowing that this time next week there were probably going to be some husbands who won and some who did not. And I couldn't help my mind from going back and remembering the beginning of each football season, the fear of the unknown. What did the season have in store for us this year.

We are in our 8th year of coaching and I love being a coaches wife. I wouldn't have always described being a coaches wife with the word love. I am still learning. I had to learn to love being a coaches wife when we didn't have kids and then again when we did have kids. It was during one of these learning experiences God used the story of Job to teach me a valuable lesson about marriage. If you look at the story of Job it is not really your typical marriage story, but that is when God is at His best. In the story of Job starting in Chapter 1 you find that God and Satan are having a conversation (if I could have only been a fly on that wall) and Job, a servant of God, comes up in their conversation. Satan tells God that the only reason Job is a servant of God is because God has given him everything he could want. God tells Satan that he can do whatever it wants to Job, but he can't lay a finger on the man himself. Tragically we learn that Job's sons and daughters were killed, his servants killed, and his lifestock killed. The lesson comes from when we hear from Job's wife in chapter 2. His wife says,"Why do you insist on keeping your integrity, curse God and die." I ask the question, "Why is she still alive? Why was she not killed with the rest of the family?" I would argue that she was not killed because God did not view her as a part of Jobs' family, but as a part of the man himself. When God says as husband and wife, "we are one", He means we are ONE!

Coaching isn't just what our husband does, it is a part of who he is. And if coaching is part of who he is I had to learn to make it part of who I am too, after all, we are one. We win as a family and we lose as a family. As a trophy wife, that trophy is just as much ours as it is our husbands!And I don't know about you but I love gold just a much as the next girl:) Til, next time. . .

Life's Questions

As I said before I work for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes in Oklahoma. My ministry includes female coaches, female athletes, and coaches wives. And this blog entry has to do with two encounters I had with both a coaches wife and a female coach. The first encounter was in the kitchen of a fellow coaches wife. There were three of us who had gotten together so our kids could play while our husbands took their annual fishing trip. While we were chatting over kids, husbands, and jobs one of the wives brought up a situation at her work. This particular coaches wife is a nurse and she had a nurse she worked with that was pregnant and was told her baby had spina bifida. As imagined they were devastated, but they began preparing for life with a special needs baby. In the midst of their preparation they had family members telling them that by preparing for the special needs baby they didn't have enough faith because if they believed enough, God would heal the baby. As my friend was telling us this story I could tell where it was going and was honestly dreading the question. . .And here it comes. . ."So do you believe that?" I dreaded the question because as a person in ministry you feel as though you should have the answers, and I think on some level others think the same thing. Well, we don't. not even close. As I fumbled through some answer I never forgot the question.

Well, the question came back this week with the encounter with my female coach. This coach has fought an amazing brave battle with colon cancer for 6 years while coaching, while teaching, while being an amazing wife, and while raising 4 kids.And just found out it has returned with a vengenance in her lungs this time. I never have seen her waver in her faith or trust in God. My heart has just broke for this family because I know there is no lack of faith so why is God not answering our prayers. I know he can-He's God. He can do anything. Maybe you have had those same thoughts and feelings. Whether it be with prayers for a sick loved one, prayers for a changed husband, or prayers for a job change. So what is the answer. Well, after this question has lingered God showed me a story that helped me so maybe it can help you.

The lesson came from Matthew 8:1-3 "And behold a leper came to him and knelt before him, saying, "Lord if you will, you can make me clean. And Jesus stretched out his hand a touched him, saying, "I will: be clean." And immediately his leprosy was cleansed. The key statement is: "Lord if you will, you can make me clean." Not can you-not indicating a lack of faith. We know he can do anything-but sometimes he chooses not to. For some reasons He says "I will" and for others for reasons we may never understand he says "I will not." Even though we don't know why we have to trust in the character of God that he does "everything to the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose."(Romans 8:28) Even the "will nots." I will continue to pray for a miracle for Shena, but I know whether he heals her or not it as nothing to do with a lack of faith.
Til next time. . .

Extraordinary Women

Hello all!
It is August 22, 2008 which for most people it means sending your kids back to school, summer is over, and for a lot of people it is the start of a brand new year. If you are a wife of a football coach it means it is time: time to be a single parent, time to eat dinners alone, time to put on the face paint and the strong face of I am your number one fan, but man I sure am lonely, but I will never let you know that. Yep, it is that time. But I am starting a whole new outlook on going to games-now it is going to games with 2 toddlers. I went to my husbands first scrimmage yesterday with my 2 kids (4 and 2) and was there for 3 hours and didn't see a single down. The multiple trips to the bathroom and the concession stand, the "can I sit on my sister's head" questions, changing diapers did not allow me to be the fan I wanted to be. My husband said he noticed during the game that I had one kid on my shoulders and the other kid on my hip and he turned to another coach and said, "Do you think my wife is enjoying the scrimmage?" The answer is yes!!! Why? because I love my husband more than anything!

Yes, sometimes when the feelings of love have hidden themselves in resentment I choose to love him because that is what we are called to do. I am reading a book called 12 extraordinary women by John Macauther. It is awesome. It takes 12 women of the bible and talks about what makes them great! They were great not because of their careers, but because of their character. They chose to love, they chose to follow God, they chose to be faithful to their family and faith. My favorite part of the book so far is this quote: "The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved." How great is that!!! We are called to be his partner in life, in sport, and in career. Girls, we are in this together. I want to challenge you to choose to be great this year!!!

Best supporting wife goes to. . .

Best supporting wife goes to. . .
Shouldn't there be an award like this. We all get dressed up with our new gown that was given (key word:given) to us by Versace, and the big diamond necklace from Tiffanys, and our husbands walking us down the isle. All because it is our night-our night to be recognized for the late nights driving home from games with two kids conked out in the backseat with something from the consession stand still stuck on their face, all the baths, meals, homework we do. . .alone, all while being mom, #1 fan, cheerleader, counselor, assistant coach, and sounding board for both husband and disgruntled parents. Yes, there should be an award for best supporting role, but even if there were, I would definetly not get it, not even nominated. Yes, I still do the role, but the difference is I don't always do it joyfully. A lot of the time I am pouting, angry, resentful, and yes, sometimes even jealous. "I am doing all the work at home so that you can get all the limelight in the public." Where's my reward, where's my trophy."

I have a great friend who gave me some sermons to listen to and there was one that really spoke to me. It was on the supporting role. It used the story of David, Saul, and Jonathon found in 1 Samuel 17 and going through the rest of the book. After David killed Goliath, King Saul brought him to the palace and eventually put David in charge of the army, gave him one of his daughters, and made him a very wealthy man. The people loved David and even sang songs about him, but there was one song the people sang that King Saul didn't like. The lyrics were "Saul has killed thousands, but David has killed tens of thousands." We find that King Saul was so jealous and resented the fact that David was getting all the attention, but Jonathon, King Saul's son was an amazing supporting role for David. He helped him escape from Saul, gave him his own armour, and was an amazing supporting role to help make David all that God wanted him to be. Isn't that our job as wives, helping make our husbands all that God has called him to be. We have to ask ourselves are we being Saul or are we being Jonathan.

One of my favorite stories is of former President Bush and his wife Barbara. They had stopped to get gas and the President went in to pay and while he was in there he noticed Barbara was having quite a conversation with the gas attendant. He questioned her about it when they were back on the road. He said, "you really acted like you knew that guy." She replied, "You will never believe, that was my high school boyfriend." The President chuckled and said, "Just think, you could have married that guy." And without missing a beat she replied, "Yes, and would have been President." I love that story because she knew her supporting role helped make him what and who he was.

Your supporting role helps make your husband who and what he is. We talked about there may be some of you who don't like your husbands, they don't help out when they are home, they don't give you or your children the attention like he gives his own players, but before we can deal with the lead role in this story we have to look at the supporting role: us! First, our #1 role is to Shut up and pray for your husband:Pray, pray, pray!!!!!!

We try and try to change the man by going to the man when we should be going to the one who created him. I learned this from experience and what I found was not only did God change the heart of my husband, but He changed my heart as well. I had nagged my husband forever about dipping. We got into some of the biggest fights on the subject. Finally, I realized my yelling and words weren't getting through so I committed to pray and pray and pray until one day my husband was leaving for school and he said, "Just wanted to let you know I have quit dipping and I may need your help." Are you kidding me? I didn't say a word, but my heavenly father did! Your prayer might be for him to spend more time with the family:PRAY. Or maybe to help more around the house:PRAY! Or maybe to appreciate you:PRAY!!! Scripture tells us "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything with prayer and petition present your requests to God, with thanksgving."

Turning 30

July 12, a date I look forward to every year: my birthday. I have always been the person that counted down to the big day. Nobody has ever forgot birthday because I have never ever let anybody forget my birthday. When I was growing up I can remember all the birthday cakes that displayed the words "Happy Birthday, Princess Sarah." I have loved every birthday, but would today be the same. After all, I am turning 30. Everyone has that age that when they were little was the "old age." Mine was the big 3-0. I remember going to my mom's best friend's birthday party and she wore a t-shirt that was black with white letters that said, "I'm entering the twilight zone, I am 30." I have never forgot that shirt and the thoughts I had when I saw it: 30 is old. Well, that day has come today. What will my thirties bring? Looking back to my twenties I had a some great memories. I was married at 20. Chris got has first coaching job when I was 22. We had our first child when I was 26 and our second child at 28. That sounds like a pretty darn good decade. Do you feel a but coming on?. . .BUT, as you might understand and agree, new adventures bring change and I am not very good at change. First, the marriage. . How hard could it be? After all, I was perfect and there were just a few things he needed to change and everything would be perfect. Now you see why I like to say I have been married for 10 years, but happily for 8. I had a lot to learn. We will talk more about that later. Having children, again how hard could that be? I have baby sat before and that wasn't so bad. Now you see where my twenties were full of challenges. All this to say, yes I am ready for my thirties. I am older, wiser, and not quite so naive. Bring on the thirties!!!!

Trophy wife?

As I was praying and trying to figure out the next step in what God wanted me to do I asked God to give me a name to call this blog ministry. You see, my heart and passion is the family: mine and yours. I want to see families thrive in their relationships with each other and Christ and so when God awoke me in the middle of the night to give the answer: Trophy wife, I was a little confused. Why trophy wife? I can be a very stubborn woman and yes, I asked the creator of the universe, "are you sure?" "Isn't that degrading or insulting to women" I am not anybody's trophy wife!" After I threw my 30 year old temper tantrum, my gracious, patient heavenly father whispered "be still and listen." And then he began to show me what he meant by trophy wife, not as the world would see, but as the Creator of the Universe sees it. We are going to put an entirely different spin on the phrase "Trophy wife." First of all, when you are married to player or coach, your husband's goals are much different that the rest of the world's goals. They are not trying to get a promotion each year, they aren't trying to reach the top of the corporate ladder or trying to impress the big boss man. No, their goals are much different. Their goals include bringing together an entire team that is made up of kids who are raising their siblings because they don't have 1 or both parents at home, kids who are struggling with the temptations of this world (drugs, alcohol, sex etc.), and kids who have few influential role models in their life, and get these kids to play together to win one thing each year: Trophy. The trophy: the most prized and coveted possession of a coach or player of sports. Although we are not called to be a possession by any means we are called to be someone our husband cherishes, adores,and pursues. Proverbs 31 is best known for the Proverbs 31 woman: the woman that every Christian woman wants to attain. I believe the Proverbs 31 woman showed me we are more than a trophy, we are wives. Proverbs 31 10-12 says, "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies (or trophies:) ) Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good and not harm, all the days of her life." This wife scripture talks about has character, integrity, strength, and is worth more to her husband than any trophy. OK, God, I get it (sometimes it takes me awhile) "More than a trophy, wife."Continuing on in verse 28 it says, "Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 'Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.' " Wow!! wouldn't we all like to hear those words from our husbands. That is the ideal compliment! As we continue on this adventure you may be thinking "our marriage doesn't look anything like that." You may not even like your husband right now and your marriage may be hanging on by a thread. You may completely resent your husbands profession and ready to hang it up. God wants to talk to you!!! I would ask you one favor: join me as God works in you! God can transform and make any heart come after His. Promise me you will stay with me and above all:Pray, pray, and Pray. If I can pray for you in any way please let me know! Until next time. . .

God's Calling

I work in the ministry of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes in Oklahoma so when I got the call from my sister that I should go to Women's ministry conferance in Charlotte, NC I was really excited and intrigued at the same time. I went just a few weeks ago and my eyes were open to a whole new world. A world where women didn't play sports or even like sports for that matter. I was just amazed that there were actually women out there who could care less about what college team ESPN Game day was going to be held at this Saturday, who played in the last Super Bowl (one of the greatest super bowls I have ever watched), who was in the Final Four this year, or even who plays on their local high school teams. As a visited with these amazing ladies and thinking my calling to ministry was for all women, this weekend showed me God had a special calling on my life. It was a ministry for a specific group of women:Women who love sports, women who play sports, women who coach sports, and my ultimate passion, women who are the wives of coaches and players of sports. I don't know where God will take this calling, but I am excited to be a part of the ride. I will share with you my heart, my passions, and the words God has spoken to me in hopes that by sharing my stories-you can get through yours!!