The Understanding Wife

As a wife, we tend to go through times with our husband that sounds like this....
"I will never understand him" "I will never understand how his mind works" "I do not understand why he does some of the things he does. As a coach's wife those times tend to come more often during the season because during the season you are trying to understand how you are going to get the kids from carpool, homework done, dinner made, get to the game on time, baths done, bed time...Oh and then the laundry, pay bills, clean house, take your own shower all in a perfect, timely manner. Right?
Well, hopefully I can offer you some encouragment when it comes to understanding your husband! I was reading in my quiet time this morning and I came across a verse that jumped off the page. It is from Proverbs 19:14, "...but only the Lord can give an understanding wife."
God knew that we needed to understand why our husbands do not take out the trash, but instead tries to stuff more in it. God knew that we needed to understand why our husbands works so long and hard. God knew we needed to understand why it is so hard for our husbands to share their heart. God knew we needed to understand why our husbands do not understand us. God knew therefore...our Help comes from the Lord....can I get an amen?!
As I reflected back on my own experiences and my own marriage I found that the times I am struggling with understanding my husband are times when my walk with Jesus has taken a backseat to everything else going on in our lives. And the times I am seeking God daily, I am more understanding of what my husband might be going through on the football field or with parents or with administration or with his own personal struggles. I found that when I am spending time with my Savior, I am able to see my husband through my Savior's eyes...I am able to see him the way God sees him. I am able to see that God created my husband in His Image just like He did me. So if we want to understand our husband we must go to the one who created him.
I looked up what the word "understanding" means and here is what I found..."a superior power of discernment." I loved that! That is exactly what I need as a wife..."a superior power of discernment". I need this superior power and I know the only way I can get it is from the Lord. So my encouragment to you as a wife today is "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness, and then all things will be given to you as well" (matthew 6:33) including understanding your husband.

SEEING the Good, which means SEEING God

I had the amazing opportunity to be a speaker this past weekend at the Kansas State FCA conferance. There was almost 700 students, athletes, and coaches in attendance so I was quite humbled to be a part. I had prayed and prayed about what God wanted me to share and I was confident and super excited to do just that. I was waiting back stage, they got me all set up with my cordless mic, I am listening to the praise band and praying intensely, they do my introduction and it is go time....I am ready to bring the Word! I go out on stage with a great welcome,especially when someone in the back yells "boomer" and I obliged with yelling back "sooner." Yep, God was definetley in the room:) I begin the message and I can feel the Holy Spirit just speaking through me and the response from the crowd was just so overwhelming that it gives me goosebumps even now as I type.....Everything is flowing and then I see it......two girls right in the center, right in front of me sound asleep. ASLEEP? I don't just mean nodding off....I mean they have their heads back, mouths wide open, and think I saw some drool too. As much as I tried to focus on the 698 people that I felt God was speaking too, I couldn't stop staring at those two girls that were sound asleep.

I would like to say this is the only time that I have ever focused on the 1 negative thing in the middle of a thousand positive things. Can you relate? If I have 9 out of 10 people say something nice, I will focus on the 1 that didn't. If my husband does 9/10 things right, I will gripe about the 1 thing he didn't. If my children get 9/10 right on their spelling test, I will focus on the one they didn't. If I have 9/10 great qualities, I will focus on the one that isn't. If God blesses me in 9/10 areas, I will focus on the one "I feel" he isn't.
I have been studying the book of Psalm, and I am encouraged by the man in which God called..."The man after God's own heart"....David. David had a lot of negative going on in his life during this time: People were trying to kill him, he was on the run, and hiding in caves....and he wrote these words..."I am still confident of this:I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13.
We have a choice each and every day whether or not we are going to "see the goodness of the Lord" or not. I believe in the goodness of our Lord and I believe there are positive things all around us....we just have to choose to see it! When you choose to see the Good, I am confident that you will then, see God. And the more we see God, the more we see that even when the negative things pop up... God will work, even in those, for the good (Romans 8:28)
I am laying down the challenge to see the good in the annoying co-worker that sits next to you, to see the good in the husband that sleeps next to you, to see the good in your school or workplace, to see the good in the burnt dinner you just pulled out of the oven, to see the good in YOURSELF.
Yes, it is easier to focus on the two girls asleep, but when we do, we will miss the work and the blessings that God is doing all around them:)

My unbelief

Trying to explain what God has been doing in me over the past month would be hard because, to be honest, I wasn't sure. There is a song with the line..."it seems like its chaos, but somehow there is peace." This seemed to explain it pretty well until I read a story in Mark 9 that explained it perfectly. Let me set this up for you...A man comes to Jesus and tells him that his son is possessed with a spirit that affects his speech and makes him go into seizures. He then goes on to say that the disciples tried, but could not help the boy. Jesus says,

"Oh unbelieving generation, how long shall stay with you?

How long shall put up with you? Bring the boy to me."....vs(21) Jesus

asks the father, "How long has he been like this?" "From childhood,"

he answered. "It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him

But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."

"If you can?" Said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."

Immediately, the boy's father said, "I do believe; help me overcome

my unbelief."

I am part of an "unbelieving generation" that still questions God and his goodness everyday. A generation that thinks we were put on this earth just to be "happy." A generation that thinks we are entitled to anything and everything the world has to offer. And when those things do not happen, we question the goodness of God. Honestly, I think we all do. Maybe you have prayed and God isn't answering your prayer the way you thought he should. Maybe you have asked God to remove you from a situation and you are still there. Maybe the relationship you thought God had for you, isn't working out quite like you had imagined. We all deal with unbelief in almost every area of our life, but everyday we must choose to believe that God is good even when our circumstances are not.

My favorite part of the story is when Jesus says, "if you can?" It is almost like he is saying, "you have got to be kidding me. I am the God of the freaking universe...and you are going to come at me with "if you can?"
We have to believe that God CAN do anything we ask of him, but more important, believe that when he doesn't, it is because His way is different....it is better. Isaiah 55:8 says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, and my ways are not your ways declares the Lord." When life is hard as a mom and wife, I want to believe in the goodness of God. When ministry get me overwhelmed, I want to believe in the goodness of God. When I am surrounded by what seems like the impossible I want to believe the "Possibles" of God.

Lord, I do believe...Help me overcome my unbelief:)