Best supporting wife goes to. . .

Best supporting wife goes to. . .
Shouldn't there be an award like this. We all get dressed up with our new gown that was given (key word:given) to us by Versace, and the big diamond necklace from Tiffanys, and our husbands walking us down the isle. All because it is our night-our night to be recognized for the late nights driving home from games with two kids conked out in the backseat with something from the consession stand still stuck on their face, all the baths, meals, homework we do. . .alone, all while being mom, #1 fan, cheerleader, counselor, assistant coach, and sounding board for both husband and disgruntled parents. Yes, there should be an award for best supporting role, but even if there were, I would definetly not get it, not even nominated. Yes, I still do the role, but the difference is I don't always do it joyfully. A lot of the time I am pouting, angry, resentful, and yes, sometimes even jealous. "I am doing all the work at home so that you can get all the limelight in the public." Where's my reward, where's my trophy."

I have a great friend who gave me some sermons to listen to and there was one that really spoke to me. It was on the supporting role. It used the story of David, Saul, and Jonathon found in 1 Samuel 17 and going through the rest of the book. After David killed Goliath, King Saul brought him to the palace and eventually put David in charge of the army, gave him one of his daughters, and made him a very wealthy man. The people loved David and even sang songs about him, but there was one song the people sang that King Saul didn't like. The lyrics were "Saul has killed thousands, but David has killed tens of thousands." We find that King Saul was so jealous and resented the fact that David was getting all the attention, but Jonathon, King Saul's son was an amazing supporting role for David. He helped him escape from Saul, gave him his own armour, and was an amazing supporting role to help make David all that God wanted him to be. Isn't that our job as wives, helping make our husbands all that God has called him to be. We have to ask ourselves are we being Saul or are we being Jonathan.

One of my favorite stories is of former President Bush and his wife Barbara. They had stopped to get gas and the President went in to pay and while he was in there he noticed Barbara was having quite a conversation with the gas attendant. He questioned her about it when they were back on the road. He said, "you really acted like you knew that guy." She replied, "You will never believe, that was my high school boyfriend." The President chuckled and said, "Just think, you could have married that guy." And without missing a beat she replied, "Yes, and would have been President." I love that story because she knew her supporting role helped make him what and who he was.

Your supporting role helps make your husband who and what he is. We talked about there may be some of you who don't like your husbands, they don't help out when they are home, they don't give you or your children the attention like he gives his own players, but before we can deal with the lead role in this story we have to look at the supporting role: us! First, our #1 role is to Shut up and pray for your husband:Pray, pray, pray!!!!!!

We try and try to change the man by going to the man when we should be going to the one who created him. I learned this from experience and what I found was not only did God change the heart of my husband, but He changed my heart as well. I had nagged my husband forever about dipping. We got into some of the biggest fights on the subject. Finally, I realized my yelling and words weren't getting through so I committed to pray and pray and pray until one day my husband was leaving for school and he said, "Just wanted to let you know I have quit dipping and I may need your help." Are you kidding me? I didn't say a word, but my heavenly father did! Your prayer might be for him to spend more time with the family:PRAY. Or maybe to help more around the house:PRAY! Or maybe to appreciate you:PRAY!!! Scripture tells us "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything with prayer and petition present your requests to God, with thanksgving."

Turning 30

July 12, a date I look forward to every year: my birthday. I have always been the person that counted down to the big day. Nobody has ever forgot birthday because I have never ever let anybody forget my birthday. When I was growing up I can remember all the birthday cakes that displayed the words "Happy Birthday, Princess Sarah." I have loved every birthday, but would today be the same. After all, I am turning 30. Everyone has that age that when they were little was the "old age." Mine was the big 3-0. I remember going to my mom's best friend's birthday party and she wore a t-shirt that was black with white letters that said, "I'm entering the twilight zone, I am 30." I have never forgot that shirt and the thoughts I had when I saw it: 30 is old. Well, that day has come today. What will my thirties bring? Looking back to my twenties I had a some great memories. I was married at 20. Chris got has first coaching job when I was 22. We had our first child when I was 26 and our second child at 28. That sounds like a pretty darn good decade. Do you feel a but coming on?. . .BUT, as you might understand and agree, new adventures bring change and I am not very good at change. First, the marriage. . How hard could it be? After all, I was perfect and there were just a few things he needed to change and everything would be perfect. Now you see why I like to say I have been married for 10 years, but happily for 8. I had a lot to learn. We will talk more about that later. Having children, again how hard could that be? I have baby sat before and that wasn't so bad. Now you see where my twenties were full of challenges. All this to say, yes I am ready for my thirties. I am older, wiser, and not quite so naive. Bring on the thirties!!!!

Trophy wife?

As I was praying and trying to figure out the next step in what God wanted me to do I asked God to give me a name to call this blog ministry. You see, my heart and passion is the family: mine and yours. I want to see families thrive in their relationships with each other and Christ and so when God awoke me in the middle of the night to give the answer: Trophy wife, I was a little confused. Why trophy wife? I can be a very stubborn woman and yes, I asked the creator of the universe, "are you sure?" "Isn't that degrading or insulting to women" I am not anybody's trophy wife!" After I threw my 30 year old temper tantrum, my gracious, patient heavenly father whispered "be still and listen." And then he began to show me what he meant by trophy wife, not as the world would see, but as the Creator of the Universe sees it. We are going to put an entirely different spin on the phrase "Trophy wife." First of all, when you are married to player or coach, your husband's goals are much different that the rest of the world's goals. They are not trying to get a promotion each year, they aren't trying to reach the top of the corporate ladder or trying to impress the big boss man. No, their goals are much different. Their goals include bringing together an entire team that is made up of kids who are raising their siblings because they don't have 1 or both parents at home, kids who are struggling with the temptations of this world (drugs, alcohol, sex etc.), and kids who have few influential role models in their life, and get these kids to play together to win one thing each year: Trophy. The trophy: the most prized and coveted possession of a coach or player of sports. Although we are not called to be a possession by any means we are called to be someone our husband cherishes, adores,and pursues. Proverbs 31 is best known for the Proverbs 31 woman: the woman that every Christian woman wants to attain. I believe the Proverbs 31 woman showed me we are more than a trophy, we are wives. Proverbs 31 10-12 says, "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies (or trophies:) ) Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good and not harm, all the days of her life." This wife scripture talks about has character, integrity, strength, and is worth more to her husband than any trophy. OK, God, I get it (sometimes it takes me awhile) "More than a trophy, wife."Continuing on in verse 28 it says, "Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 'Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.' " Wow!! wouldn't we all like to hear those words from our husbands. That is the ideal compliment! As we continue on this adventure you may be thinking "our marriage doesn't look anything like that." You may not even like your husband right now and your marriage may be hanging on by a thread. You may completely resent your husbands profession and ready to hang it up. God wants to talk to you!!! I would ask you one favor: join me as God works in you! God can transform and make any heart come after His. Promise me you will stay with me and above all:Pray, pray, and Pray. If I can pray for you in any way please let me know! Until next time. . .

God's Calling

I work in the ministry of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes in Oklahoma so when I got the call from my sister that I should go to Women's ministry conferance in Charlotte, NC I was really excited and intrigued at the same time. I went just a few weeks ago and my eyes were open to a whole new world. A world where women didn't play sports or even like sports for that matter. I was just amazed that there were actually women out there who could care less about what college team ESPN Game day was going to be held at this Saturday, who played in the last Super Bowl (one of the greatest super bowls I have ever watched), who was in the Final Four this year, or even who plays on their local high school teams. As a visited with these amazing ladies and thinking my calling to ministry was for all women, this weekend showed me God had a special calling on my life. It was a ministry for a specific group of women:Women who love sports, women who play sports, women who coach sports, and my ultimate passion, women who are the wives of coaches and players of sports. I don't know where God will take this calling, but I am excited to be a part of the ride. I will share with you my heart, my passions, and the words God has spoken to me in hopes that by sharing my stories-you can get through yours!!