I am back from a summer of softball, speaking, and FCA camps! And it is great be home:) I need to start off this school year by sharing what God has been teaching me over the past 3 months. God has given me some amazing opportunities over the past few months to be a part of some great things for His Kingdom. I had the privilege of going to Minnesota and speaking to 2 different womens groups, be the chaplain of the OU softball team who went to the college world series and played for a national championship, went to Kansas City to help write the FCA camp curriculum for next year, and serve at 4 FCA camps we do here in Oklahoma. To people on the outside these may sound like great, fun, exciting, neat experiences... although they were, I had to deal with little things called fear, worry, anxiety, doubt every step of the way. I was living in a little world my friend calls "double minded." It describes it best in James 1:5-8
"If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything fro the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do"
Wow! Talk about spit on your face, kick you in the crotch fantastic. This was me "unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind and "unstable in everything they do." I would freak out at the thought of what I was getting ready to have to do because I wasn't good enough yet worthy enough to be doing it. I would cry and some times puke...Then go out on stage or field and tell everyone how to strengthen THEIR faith and trust in God. I was wavering between my faith and my insecurities. Can you relate? May be you have been called to be a mom and you are flooded with insecurities about the job you are doing. May be you have started a new job and you are flooded with insecurities that you can't do this.
When we pray and still worry...when we pray and still fear..when we pray and still doubt...our loyalty has been divided between God and the world.
We become just like the Israelites (Exodus 16-32) We rely on God when things are going our way but the moment we are faced with the fear of the unknown we build ourselves a golden calf and ask God "Where are you?" This kind of faith will not do the impossibles, this kind of faith will not move mountains, the kind of faith does not give you life to the full, and this kind of faith does not let you enter into the promised land...and Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:1), died and rose again so that we could have a faith like His....solid, unwavering, and immovable.
I learned from my awesome high school Sunday school teacher that faith can be described as Action Based on Belief sustained by Confidence. For my faith to be complete I am still learning the "sustained by Confidence" part. "He alone is my Rock and my Salvation. He is my fortress. I will not be shaken." Psalm 62:6
Be encouraged that today could be the day that God wants to start growing your faith where He and He alone gets your undivided attention!
