As I write this blog post it is with a heavy heart. A heart that is just broken over the tragedy in Newtown, Conn at Sandy Hook Elementary school. When I heard the news, I was the parent that went and picked up my kids early from school just so I can hold them. As I saw each one of them walk down the hall: Cale-8, Chloe-6, Case-3, I began to cry...and I haven't really stopped. Yes, there has been momentary times of laughter and fun, but then I would find myself just weeping. I cried when I saw them, I cried when I hugged them, I cried because I didn't want to let them go. I read different people's posts about not talking about it much with your kids or controlling your emotions with your kids so they can see how strong Jesus is in you. I even had a mom ask me "Why are you crying? Did you know someone there?" She wasn't being rude, she was just curious. I did talk about it with my kids....I have shown my kids a lot of emotion...why was I so upset, I didn't know anyone involved?....Is my faith weak? Does showing so much emotion mean I don't trust in my Jesus?
So many questions about the "why's" of this tragedy and so many questions about the "how" we should handle it. I don't know the "whys" and I don't know the right "hows" but I do know the God who understands it all and I turn to His Word and His Words to provide comfort.
I turned to the story of Jesus, Mary, Martha, and Lazarus in John 11:1-43...
Lazarus had become very sick and the sisters had sent Jesus a message to return to that Jesus could heal him. Instead, Jesus did not come and stayed for 2 more days. By the time Jesus returned to Bethany, Lazarus had been dead for 4 days. Mary and Martha approached Jesus with the same statement..."If you had been here, my brother would not have died." They wanted to know why. They wanted to know why this had to happen. They wanted to know why did he allow this. They wanted to know why he didn't come to their rescue. Why? Why? Why? Sound familiar?
Scripture says in verse 33, "When Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who had come along side with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit, and troubled....(vs 35) Jesus wept." We learn in the story that Jesus then walks to the tomb and raises Lazarus from the dead.
I find comfort in knowing our God wept with those who lost a loved one.He knew His power...he knew His strength...He wasn't sad because Lazarus died:Afterall, He knew that He was about to bring him back to life. No...He cried because those he loved were heartbroken. He showed emotion and therefore showed his heart. I believe on December 15, Jesus cries once again. He cries, not because of the children...he is holding them. He cries because of His other children...the parents, the grandparents, the aunts and uncles, husbands, friends, co-workers, a nation that is utterly heartbroken over this tragedy. We cry therefore he cries. Our hearts are broken, therefore His heart is broken. He knows that there will be good come of this tragedy yet... he weeps with us. He knows that His goodness will win over evil yet... he weeps with us. I find comfort in knowing that I can weep because my Savior weeps. I can be emotional because those WERE my kids...those were your kids. I saw my baby girl's eyes in one the victim's pictures....I saw my sweet boy's smile in the one of the victim's pictures...I saw my baby boy's cheeks in one of the victim's pictures. I saw my children in every single one one of those pictures and I wept.
I find comfort in the words that Jesus said to Martha in her grief, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"
I dropped my children off at school today and I did it with tears, because God asked me once again..."Do you trust me with your children? Do you believe that if they never come home today...I still have them? Do you believe that even if they are gone on this earth...you will see them again. Do you believe this?" YES Jesus I do!!!
For more about trusting God with our children...you can read my Christmas blog post right before this one...
