Ouch...God may have just hit me in the mouth

Well, it is that week again....that week you either love or hate. It is the week that the fact that you are single, divorced, or widowed is so highlighted that you feel as though you are walking around with a giant neon sign announcing your relationship status. Or maybe each year you build up in your mind, that because you are married or in a relationship, that it is going to be a day of lavishing you with cards, roses, homemade candlelight dinner, just like it is at my house every year (ha ha...just kidding), just to be disappointed at the end of the day because it didn't live up to your expectation. Well, I have been studying the book of Galatians and I got punched in the mouth with some truth,so I am just paying it forward...you're welcome:)

 There are ways that we need to focus on ourselves but tend to focus on others...

This includes Sin. Yes Sin. We all have it but nobody likes to address it...well their own anyway. It's easier, less painful, less uncomfortable to focus on other people's sin rather than addressing our own. It works out better for us if we can keep the attention on Mary Lou who just got divorced instead of addressing the fact that we secretly are addicted to pain killers, shopping, attention, etc. Jesus knew we would struggle with this so he said this, "And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? how can you think of saying to your friend, 'Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye.' when you can't see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First, get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friends eye." Matthew 7:3-5
And before you start pointing the finger because you feel people judge you, believe me you do it too. We all do...every single one of us. We all judge people, and we usually judge people based on things we don't struggle with. God wants us to focus on ourselves when it comes to sin...address our own sin, issues, and problems. If you are like me, you have plenty to deal with, you don't have time to deal with other people's sin.
We love to Covet. (Galatians 6:4)We love to want what everyone else has. Instead of focusing on ourselves and what God has blessed us with, we focus on what God has given everybody else. Comparison kills contentment, which means we are happy with who we are and what we have until  we see what somebody else has.  For me, this happens a lot with parenting. I am confident and love how I am as a mom and what we do with the kids until I see someone who has made an entire zoo full of animals made out of used toilet paper rolls...then I think "I suck." Once again, God doesn't want us focusing on other people when He's trying to shape us into HIS Image not everyone else's.

There are ways we need to focus on others but tend to focus on ourselves

We have taken the word serve and made it into how can people serve "me." (Galatians 6: 8-10) I know that sounds harsh, but we are all guilty of it. We may pout because we didn't get the recognition we thought we deserved. We may be bitter because no one has said thank you for everything you have done for them. What started out as service ends up being..."What about me?" "they aren't meeting my needs?" "where is my 'me' time?" And the focus is on you instead of others. We live in a world that says "Do want makes you happy," "As long as you re happy?"....all because we think the world is here for us, when in fact we are here to serve the world in the name of Jesus. If the King of Kings says, "I did not come to be served, but to serve..." I think we should follow His lead. 

Love...we spend our entire lives looking for people who can love us. I get so discouraged reading facebook and twitter the week of Valentine's day because it is just depressing how people talk about not having anyone to love them or how their husband dropped the ball this year.  Since when did Valentines day become about who all can show you love? The creator of the Universe is so madly in love with you that He died for you. You are part of the greatest love story in the world. How about we make this Valentines day about how YOU can show love to OTHERS. Maybe there is a widow who is alone for the first time in 25 years and you could take her out for dinner. Maybe there is a mom who is spending their first Valentines day without their child this year and you could take a teddy bear to the family in honor of their child. Maybe there is a woman who's husband is fighting for our country's freedom and could use some flowers from Jesus this week. You are loved...now go spread it!

There is a fine line between focusing on ourselves and focusing on others. We are called to do both, but so often we get the lines crossed on which is which. So how do we walk the thin line? With Jesus of Course. Jesus said, is "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself."  Love your neighbor as yourself." When we love God first, it's possible to keep 2nd and 3rd in line.

The Secret

I absolutely love secrets, the good kind. The secrets of surprise birthday parties, or the secrets of a pregnancy, the secret of someone about to propose. I love the excitement, the build-up to the happiness that I know is about to occur. Although I love these kind of secrets, I suck at keeping them. If you want to know what I got you for your birthday or for Christmas...just ask me I will tell you. You can ask anyone in my family, I get so excited that I just have to share right now or if I don't say anything it is written all over my face that I need to tell you something that is going to make you so happy! The excitement is just too much for me and I think you need to know the secret now. Well, I have a secret. Yep! I have found the secret to being content with whatever I have....well, actually Paul found it and shared it.  I know right? That is a pretty big secret...that is the secret we would all like to know...the secret not be driven by the things of this world or not having our emotions depend on our circumstances. Wouldn't you like that...I know I would. I would love to have self-control when I go into a store and see some boots and not feel like I have to have them righ now and if I don't get them I just won't fit in to the world. I would love to go through a day and no matter what happens in the day whether my work day has been overwhelming or my kids are not obeying me, or my husband had a bad meeting with a parent, that I would still have joy. I would love to go through every circumstance, every up and down, and  handle it in such a way that people say "there is something different about her. I would love the secret to that life. Wouldn't you? Wouldn't you love to go to the fridge and seeing there is no food there and one more day until pay day and still have joy. Wouldn't you love to go to the fridge and it be completely stocked and be filled with so much joy because you know that that doesn't happen for everyone. Wouldn't you love to answer a phone call from your children's principle and no matter what they say on the other end you know that you can still have joy. Woulnd't you love to know that when you are waiting for that phone call from your Doctor to tell you if you have cancer or not, that whatever news you get, you are filled with joy and peace. This secret is worth more than gold...it's the key to all joy in this world...holy crap I am getting so excited to tell you. I am excited to tell you because I visit with people everyday who walk around completely defeated. Their job sucks...therefore they have no joy. Their marriage sucks...therefore they have no joy. Their relationship with their family sucks....therefore they have no joy. The circumstances of this broken world has just completetly overwhelmed them and they walk around completely defeated. But I know the secret....the secret to change all that....the secret to joy in any circumstance....the secret to peace that passes all understanding. Are you ready...are you sure....it's a big secret....here it goes....

Paul writes in Philippians 4:11-13: "...For I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

Did you catch it? Did you catch the secret? It is easy to miss it
J
The Secret is....JESUS!!!

For some of you this might be a let down...you might be thinking "Well of course it is Jesus....I have been a Christian my whole life....that is the sunday school answer...Yes, I asked Jesus to be my Savior when I was 9 and still feel down, alone, and defeated...isn't there another answer to this riddle of finding joy in our life"
NOPE! That is the secret...as a follower of Christ you hold the very key, they key to all the power in the world with one relationship, with one name, with one person: Jesus.

It's kinda like in the movie Kung Fu Panda....the key to defeating the enemy of the world was in the dragon scroll and only the dragon warrior could read the dragon scroll. Once, the unlikely dragon warrior, PO the Panda opened the dragon scroll to find the secret...it was blank. After feeling defeated, he finally figured it out, the secret to defeating the enemy lied in him the whole time. 

I think it is time followers of Jesus, Christians, start understanding the power that comes with having Jesus in their life. He is not just heaven insurance...he is the secret to living this life with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control. You can do ALL things through Jesus who gives you strength! When bad things happen you CAN find joy because you know that Jesus works all things to the good (Romans 8:28)...even the bad. When you are struggling with your work, children, or spouse, you CAN find joy because you know that if we do not give up we WILL reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up (Galatians 6:9) There is power in Jesus to save your marriage, there is power in Jesus to mend a broken relationship, there is Power in Jesus to have a winning season, there is Power in Jesus to overcome an addiction, there is Power in Jesus to overcome the hurts and pain of this world. You see, Jesus isn't just our Savior from Hell, but our Source of joy and peace in all circumstances on earth!

There is a reason Jesus said to pray this in the Lord's Prayer, "...Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven...." We can have on earth what we will have in heaven....That is the secret! We CAN do ALL things THROUGH JESUS because He gives us the strength.

Life without an *

In 2001 a movie came out called 61* which was about the 1960 Major League Baseball season where Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris' pursued Babe Ruth's home run record. They were teammates playing for the New York Yankees and while the New York fans and media were pulling for the popular and personable Mantle, a long-time Yankee. The quieter Maris was viewed as an outsider, aloof and unworthy. As they got closer to the record, MLB Commissioner Ford Frick, who also happened to be Babe Ruth's admirer and ghostwriter, makes a decision. Unless the record is broken in 154 games (the same number Ruth played in 1927), the new record would be listed separately from Ruth's record, because MLB's season is now 162 games long thus making it a record with an *. Maris did break the record in the last game of the season and for the longest time his record was a 61* until 1991 where they decided records were records and they would not be separated.

Many of us walk around as followers of Christ*, believing we are forgiven*, knowing that we will get to spend eternity in heaven someday*. We view ourselves as an "outsider, aloof and unworthy" of taking part in any blessings that God may want to impart on us or our family. We believe God can do great things, BUT just for other people. God can do great things BUT just not for me. Our entire walk with Christ has an * by it because we think "I am not good enough," "I can't live up to His standards", "He could never forgive me for what I have done so I work a little bit harder for it",  "If he knew me and what I have done, he couldnt love me let alone die for me", "Yes I know I get to be his follower, but I am sure I must walk around with an asterisk*" Right?  Wrong!
Because Christ lives in you, nothing else needs to be added, not even an asterisk*. You are a full-fledged child of God!

Romans 8:14-16 says, "For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God.
¹⁵ So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” ¹⁶ For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children.
We may say that we are children of God, but we live as though we are slaves...slaves to sin, slaves to shame, slaves to unworthiness, slaves to doubt all making us children of God*

Whenever I am walking around with the asterisk*, I find comfort in the Story of David. David loved God, followed God, obeyed God, but after some of the decisions he made (adultery, murder just to name a few) God could have put an asterisk* after everything David did after that. He was a great man of God*, But...., He loved me*, But...., He obeyed me,*...Most of the time...

But He did none of that...instead in Acts 13:22 it says, "After removing Saul, he made David their King. He testified concerning him: 'I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.'"
That's right God, after everything David did, called him "a man after my own heart." Oh how I love that!
God wants to remove the * from your life today! I don't know what it is for you, but it could be the one thing that is holding you back from all that God wants to do through you. Maybe your * is guilt for your past, maybe your * is feeling inadequate, maybe your * is unforgiveness for someone else. Whatever has popped in your head while reading this, I urge you to stop what you are doing and pray...pray to take the asterisk* away:)  What Christ did on the cross was enough for you and for me!

If I can pray for you in any way please let me know! Here is to a New Year and living Life with out an *!!!

Heartbroken Christmas

As I write this blog post it is with a heavy heart. A heart that is just broken over the tragedy in Newtown, Conn at Sandy Hook Elementary school. When I heard the news, I was the parent that went and picked up my kids early from school just so I can hold them. As I saw each one of them walk down the hall: Cale-8, Chloe-6, Case-3, I began to cry...and I haven't really stopped. Yes, there has been momentary times of laughter and fun, but then I would find myself just weeping. I cried when I saw them, I cried when I hugged them, I cried because I didn't want to let them go.  I read different people's posts about not talking about it much with your kids or controlling your emotions with your kids so they can see how strong Jesus is in you. I even had a mom ask me "Why are you crying? Did you know someone there?" She wasn't being rude, she was just curious. I did talk about it with my kids....I have shown my kids a lot of emotion...why was I so upset, I didn't know anyone involved?....Is my faith weak? Does showing so much emotion mean I don't trust in my Jesus?

So many questions about the "why's" of this tragedy and so many questions about the "how" we should handle it. I don't know the "whys" and I don't know the right "hows" but I do know the God who understands it all and I turn to His Word and His Words to provide comfort.

I turned to the story of Jesus, Mary, Martha, and Lazarus in John 11:1-43...
Lazarus had become very sick and the sisters had sent Jesus a message to return to that Jesus could heal him. Instead, Jesus did not come and stayed for 2 more days. By the time Jesus returned to Bethany, Lazarus had been dead for 4 days. Mary and Martha approached Jesus with the same statement..."If you had been here, my brother would not have died." They wanted to know why. They wanted to know why this had to happen. They wanted to know why did he allow this. They wanted to know why he didn't come to their rescue. Why? Why? Why? Sound familiar?
Scripture says in verse 33, "When Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who had come along side with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit, and troubled....(vs 35) Jesus wept." We learn in the story that Jesus then walks to the tomb and raises Lazarus from the dead.

I find comfort in knowing our God wept with those who lost a loved one.He knew His power...he knew His strength...He wasn't sad because Lazarus died:Afterall,  He knew that He was about to bring him back to life. No...He cried because those he loved were heartbroken. He showed emotion and therefore showed his heart. I believe on December 15, Jesus cries once again. He cries, not because of the children...he is holding them. He cries because of His other children...the parents, the grandparents, the aunts and uncles, husbands, friends, co-workers, a nation that is utterly heartbroken over this tragedy. We cry therefore he cries. Our hearts are broken, therefore His heart is broken. He knows that there will be good come of this tragedy yet... he weeps with us. He knows that His goodness will win over evil yet... he weeps with us. I find comfort in knowing that I can weep because my Savior weeps. I can be emotional because those WERE my kids...those were your kids. I saw my baby girl's eyes in one the victim's pictures....I saw my sweet boy's smile in the one of the victim's pictures...I saw my baby boy's cheeks in one of the victim's pictures. I saw my children in every single one one of those pictures and I wept.

I find comfort in the words that Jesus said to Martha in her grief, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"

I dropped my children off at school today and I did it with tears, because God asked me once again..."Do you trust me with your children? Do you believe that if they never come home today...I still have them? Do you believe that even if they are gone on this earth...you will see them again. Do you believe this?" YES Jesus I do!!!

For more about trusting God with our children...you can read my Christmas blog post right before this one...

A Lesson learned from Mary and Joseph

My husband was telling me about an incident that happened yesterday with our oldest son, Cale. My husband was at a gas station and was approached by a man that needed some money. All my husband had was Cale's money he was holding for him...and ended up giving it to the man in need. My husband is telling Cale the story about how the man needed money and Cale was super excited that His dad, once again, was the hero and gave the man some money...But then when his dad continued and told him that the money he gave the man was His, he was trying so hard to hold back the tears..."That was his money, he had worked so hard for that money, he had saved it and not spent it because there was something special he had in store for that money." Recognizing that this was extremely hard news to hear, but knowing Cale would never say any of this, but knew he was thinking it; He asked Cale if he trusted Him, as his father, that he would take care of him and his money. With a hesitate but confident "Yes", his dad took him to the toy store and all was right in the world again.
Just like Cale, there is something that we view as ours, our most prized possessions, our children....they are ours, we work hard for our children, we have prayed and provided for our children, and we have special plans in store for our children. But just as Cale's father asked him if he trusted him...there will come a time that God will ask us to trust Him with our children....Just ask Mary and Joseph.
We most always refer to Jesus as God's Son, and sometimes I forget He was also the son of Mary and Joseph as well. Mary is the one who gave birth to him. Joseph is the one who named him. Mary was the one who fed him. Joseph was the one taught him the carpentry skills. From the moment the angels appeared to both Mary and Joseph, they became parents. They were going to rejoice over this baby boy, they were going to play and wrestle with this little boy, they were going to love this little boy because he was their son, their child, their little boy. But there came a point at some time when they had to remember and remind themselves that although God entrusted this baby boy, turned infant boy, turned teenage boy, turned adult man that He in fact belonged to God....And so do we. God has entrusted us with His babies, His little girls, His teenagers and there will come times in each stage of life that we are going to have to trust God with the children he has entrusted us. Maybe your child is in the hospital right now and you feel so helpless...You can trust your father with your child. May be your child is struggling in school right now...You can trust your father with your child. May be your child is going through some rebellion and you just don't understand...You can trust your Father with your Child. After all, Your Father is their Father!
I have a passage marked in my Bible that has all three of my children's names beside it. It is on 2 Corinthians 1:24, "We want to work together with you so you will be full of joy, for it is by your own faith that you will stand firm." Our goal as parents is to work together with God so that our children can be full of joy and stand firm in their own faith because of God....just like Mary and Joseph.
I can't imagine how hard it was for Mary and Joseph to watch their Son go through the torture and torment he did willingly, but they trusted their Father with their son from the cradle to the cross...and in turn, their son became their Savior.

Time out!

So...we had one of those moments...you know, those moments where your life could have been in the "Calgone take me away" commercials. The kids and I had met one of the college athletes I mentor at Braums for ice cream. Everyone had their icecream and we are all sitting in the booth chatting and having a good time. My youngest, Case (3), crawls up into my lap and just whines a little bit. He then begins to start coughing and  as I reach for the cup of water, he pukes all over him, me, table, booth, floor, and I am pretty sure I saw some on the ceiling. I had never seen so much throw up come out of a little body. The college girl, Brianna, gets me some paper towels and i could tell she could go at anytime, and then my Chloe starts gagging too. I had Brianna take Chloe out of the way while I am trying to calm a very sad and scared little boy and clean us up in some way. It was crazy...and about that time...something is hitting me in the face...its my 8 year old spitting spit wads at me through his straw. "Really??!!, do you really think this is a good time for that?" came out of my mouth and Oh how I wanted a timeout...a timeout from life at that moment.
Can you relate?
I find myself asking God this same question..."Really?!, do you really think this is a good time for that?" What I am really saying in that question is, "God I don't think there is a good time for bad times.
Oh, but His ways are not our ways...His wisdom is not our wisdom...His thinking is not our thinking.
One of my favorite women of the Bible is Esther. Esther was a Jewish woman who was chosen to be the Queen to King Xerxes right after the King had banished the first Queen from the Palace because she refused to come to him when He sent for her. Dang, that would be a hard role to fill...talk about walking on egg shells with the hubby. Well, there was an evil guy who was the King's most powerful official named Haman. Haman came up with an evil plan to kill all the Jews because he didn't like Mordecai, a Jew who refused to bow down to Haman and who also happened to be Esther's cousin. Are you still with me? This IS in the Bible and not an episode of Days of Our Lives...promise.
Mordecai asked his cousin, the new Queen to help him and their people..."Don't think for a moment that because you're in the palace you will escape when all other Jews are killed. If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for such a time as this?" Esther 4:13-14
Um... we are put into certain positions or circumstances for such a time this...time to show my children how to act in a stressful situation, time to show the patience that I had been praying for, time to show the character of Christ, time to see the goodness of God even in the worst of times.
What we learn is that Esther didn't ask for a timeout from this time in her life...she used the position and the time she was given to bravely ask the King for help and he did! Esther and her people were saved.
May be you would like a time out from your marriage and God wants to use this time to bring you both closer to Him. May be you would like a time out from your job and God wants to use this time for you to trust HIM.
What if we looked at life through the same eyes as Mordecai and Esther and ask ourselves "What if God has placed is in this season of life for such a time as this?" There is always a good time for God to teach us life lessons and some times he uses bad times to do it.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, "For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven."
There are times to win and there are times to lose
There are times to be with loved ones and there are times to be alone
There are times to have icecream and there are times to throw up icecream
And Yes, there is a good time for bad times...just ask Esther
Afterall, "God has made everything beautiful for its own time." Ecclesiastes 3:11

Truth or Trash

After a message from church one day, my family started playing a game that we play often...it's called Truth or Trash. We will ask the kid squestions like: "if you mess up, God loves you less..truth or trash?" or "you have been created by God, for God, to do great things because of God...truth or trash?" They love it and are learning the difference between the truth of who God says they are and the trash the World says they are. As a wife of a coach and person in ministry, I play this game all the time...it just happens to be random people saying the statements and I have to ask myself is this truth or trash. Paul could relate...

In the book of Acts 27 and 28 we read that Paul was on his way to Rome, as a prisoner, and the ship he was on wrecked and the sailors found themselves on the island of Malta. It was cold, rainy, and they decided to build a fire. This is where we pick up the story in Acts 28:3-6, "As Paul gathered an wood for the fire, a poisonous snake bit him on the hand. The people of the island saw the snake hanging from his hand and said to each other, 'A murderer, no doubt! Though he escaped the sea, justice will not permit him to live."'But Paul shook off the snake into the fire and was unharmed. The people waited for him to swell up and drop dead. But when they had waited a long time and saw that he wasn't harmed, they changed their minds and decided he was a god."

In the matter of about 5 minutes, based on the world's view of Paul he went from being a murderer to a god. The Truth was he was neither. The truth of who we are is not based on what people say we are, we are who God says we are...nothing more and nothing less. As a coach's family, we go through times where people will say that we walk on water (this is usually when we are winning) and then there are times when we will be told we are not a good role model. There will be times people will give you life with their words or try to give you death with their words. We have to learn that truth of who we are doesn't come from the mouths of people but from the mouth of God. Yes it is hard and yes I am tempted to believe the trash, but a wise man once told me "Just keep in mind that everyone has an opinion. Doesn't make them right. Live in truth not opinion."
There are 2 traps to listening to the world: 1) Those that say you are a god 2) Those that say you are a murderer. Paul addresses the first one in Romans 12:3, "...I give each of you this warning: Don't think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us."
It is kinda like when my son was playing football and we overheard him tell the coach, "coach, if you want to score, give me the ball." After the game, we talked about what humility is. The very next game we heard him say the same thing. We asked him, "Cale, we talked about this. What is humility?" He replied, "It is when you know that God made you this good." Dad gum it! That is it! He knew he was good, not because of what anybody said, but because he knew he was good because of God....he knew the Truth!

And for those who say that you are a murderer, Paul says in Romans 8:15, "So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God's Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now, we call him, "Abba, Father." For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God's children." You are a murderer...Trash. You are a slave to this world...Trash. You are not good enough....Trash. You don't measure up to other people....Trash. You are a daughter of the King of Kings....Truth. You are enough....Truth. You are a child of the living God...Truth!
The Truth is God and when we know the truth the truth will set us free. Set us free from pleasing people to pleasing God. Set us free from seeking peoples approval and seeking God's. Set us free from living for the world and living for God.
If there is anyone who understands this and can help us through these time is none other than Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. He was paraded through town with people shouting "Hosanna! Hosanna!" and one week later put on a cross by the same people shouting "Crucify Him! Crucify Him!" And what did he do? He said, "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they do." Forgive them because what they say is trash, forgive them because they do not know the truth.
There are going to be times in our lives when we are getting told by the world that we are murderers or gods and we will have to look to God and ask "Is this Truth or Trash?" His opinion of us is the ONLY TRUTH!