The Understanding Wife

As a wife, we tend to go through times with our husband that sounds like this....
"I will never understand him" "I will never understand how his mind works" "I do not understand why he does some of the things he does. As a coach's wife those times tend to come more often during the season because during the season you are trying to understand how you are going to get the kids from carpool, homework done, dinner made, get to the game on time, baths done, bed time...Oh and then the laundry, pay bills, clean house, take your own shower all in a perfect, timely manner. Right?
Well, hopefully I can offer you some encouragment when it comes to understanding your husband! I was reading in my quiet time this morning and I came across a verse that jumped off the page. It is from Proverbs 19:14, "...but only the Lord can give an understanding wife."
God knew that we needed to understand why our husbands do not take out the trash, but instead tries to stuff more in it. God knew that we needed to understand why our husbands works so long and hard. God knew we needed to understand why it is so hard for our husbands to share their heart. God knew we needed to understand why our husbands do not understand us. God knew therefore...our Help comes from the Lord....can I get an amen?!
As I reflected back on my own experiences and my own marriage I found that the times I am struggling with understanding my husband are times when my walk with Jesus has taken a backseat to everything else going on in our lives. And the times I am seeking God daily, I am more understanding of what my husband might be going through on the football field or with parents or with administration or with his own personal struggles. I found that when I am spending time with my Savior, I am able to see my husband through my Savior's eyes...I am able to see him the way God sees him. I am able to see that God created my husband in His Image just like He did me. So if we want to understand our husband we must go to the one who created him.
I looked up what the word "understanding" means and here is what I found..."a superior power of discernment." I loved that! That is exactly what I need as a wife..."a superior power of discernment". I need this superior power and I know the only way I can get it is from the Lord. So my encouragment to you as a wife today is "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness, and then all things will be given to you as well" (matthew 6:33) including understanding your husband.

SEEING the Good, which means SEEING God

I had the amazing opportunity to be a speaker this past weekend at the Kansas State FCA conferance. There was almost 700 students, athletes, and coaches in attendance so I was quite humbled to be a part. I had prayed and prayed about what God wanted me to share and I was confident and super excited to do just that. I was waiting back stage, they got me all set up with my cordless mic, I am listening to the praise band and praying intensely, they do my introduction and it is go time....I am ready to bring the Word! I go out on stage with a great welcome,especially when someone in the back yells "boomer" and I obliged with yelling back "sooner." Yep, God was definetley in the room:) I begin the message and I can feel the Holy Spirit just speaking through me and the response from the crowd was just so overwhelming that it gives me goosebumps even now as I type.....Everything is flowing and then I see it......two girls right in the center, right in front of me sound asleep. ASLEEP? I don't just mean nodding off....I mean they have their heads back, mouths wide open, and think I saw some drool too. As much as I tried to focus on the 698 people that I felt God was speaking too, I couldn't stop staring at those two girls that were sound asleep.

I would like to say this is the only time that I have ever focused on the 1 negative thing in the middle of a thousand positive things. Can you relate? If I have 9 out of 10 people say something nice, I will focus on the 1 that didn't. If my husband does 9/10 things right, I will gripe about the 1 thing he didn't. If my children get 9/10 right on their spelling test, I will focus on the one they didn't. If I have 9/10 great qualities, I will focus on the one that isn't. If God blesses me in 9/10 areas, I will focus on the one "I feel" he isn't.
I have been studying the book of Psalm, and I am encouraged by the man in which God called..."The man after God's own heart"....David. David had a lot of negative going on in his life during this time: People were trying to kill him, he was on the run, and hiding in caves....and he wrote these words..."I am still confident of this:I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13.
We have a choice each and every day whether or not we are going to "see the goodness of the Lord" or not. I believe in the goodness of our Lord and I believe there are positive things all around us....we just have to choose to see it! When you choose to see the Good, I am confident that you will then, see God. And the more we see God, the more we see that even when the negative things pop up... God will work, even in those, for the good (Romans 8:28)
I am laying down the challenge to see the good in the annoying co-worker that sits next to you, to see the good in the husband that sleeps next to you, to see the good in your school or workplace, to see the good in the burnt dinner you just pulled out of the oven, to see the good in YOURSELF.
Yes, it is easier to focus on the two girls asleep, but when we do, we will miss the work and the blessings that God is doing all around them:)

My unbelief

Trying to explain what God has been doing in me over the past month would be hard because, to be honest, I wasn't sure. There is a song with the line..."it seems like its chaos, but somehow there is peace." This seemed to explain it pretty well until I read a story in Mark 9 that explained it perfectly. Let me set this up for you...A man comes to Jesus and tells him that his son is possessed with a spirit that affects his speech and makes him go into seizures. He then goes on to say that the disciples tried, but could not help the boy. Jesus says,

"Oh unbelieving generation, how long shall stay with you?

How long shall put up with you? Bring the boy to me."....vs(21) Jesus

asks the father, "How long has he been like this?" "From childhood,"

he answered. "It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him

But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."

"If you can?" Said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."

Immediately, the boy's father said, "I do believe; help me overcome

my unbelief."

I am part of an "unbelieving generation" that still questions God and his goodness everyday. A generation that thinks we were put on this earth just to be "happy." A generation that thinks we are entitled to anything and everything the world has to offer. And when those things do not happen, we question the goodness of God. Honestly, I think we all do. Maybe you have prayed and God isn't answering your prayer the way you thought he should. Maybe you have asked God to remove you from a situation and you are still there. Maybe the relationship you thought God had for you, isn't working out quite like you had imagined. We all deal with unbelief in almost every area of our life, but everyday we must choose to believe that God is good even when our circumstances are not.

My favorite part of the story is when Jesus says, "if you can?" It is almost like he is saying, "you have got to be kidding me. I am the God of the freaking universe...and you are going to come at me with "if you can?"
We have to believe that God CAN do anything we ask of him, but more important, believe that when he doesn't, it is because His way is different....it is better. Isaiah 55:8 says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, and my ways are not your ways declares the Lord." When life is hard as a mom and wife, I want to believe in the goodness of God. When ministry get me overwhelmed, I want to believe in the goodness of God. When I am surrounded by what seems like the impossible I want to believe the "Possibles" of God.

Lord, I do believe...Help me overcome my unbelief:)

Let's Talk about It

As far as I can remember, my mouth has gotten me in a lot of trouble. From the time I was 10 years old and I lied to my father about my coaching calling and cancelling softball practice so I could go to the movies to the time I was 25 years old and said some pretty ugly words to a parent in the stands of one of my husband's games, and yes, everything in between...gossip, criticism, inappropriate speech, flattering, complaining, exaggerating, bragging, resentment etc. I would say my mouth is my greatest gift and is also my worst enemy. We as women, in general, use our words to fight battles instead of our fists. The Bible says it this way...."Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God." James 3:9 The same mouth that we praise and worship God, himself, is the same mouth that tears down the very people that God, himself, created. If the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil (1 Timothy 6:10), I would argue a close second are the words that are spoken from our mouth.
Psychologists say that women speak double the words of that of men each day. The question is how are we using those words? It would be awesome if we were using them to doubly encourage one another, or doubly speak truth, but unfortunately I do not believe that is the case.
God has really working on me in this area especially when I read this:
"Indeed, we all make mistakes. For if we could control our tongue, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every way." James 3:2
Wow...if we could control our tongues we would then be able to control ourselves in every other way to, leading a life we all want...perfection.
HOW?
1) Simply shut up:)
I say that with all the love in my heart...really! Proverbs 10:19 says, "Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut." When you want to criticize, keep your mouth shut. When you want to lie, keep your mouth shut. When you want to gossip, keep your mouth shut.
2) When you Speak, let your words praise God and Man (or woman)
There will be times when you will need to speak up: "A time to speak up and a time to be quiet (Eccl.3) But when we do..."Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear him." Ephesians 4:9 When you want to boast, boast in how great God is. When you want to complain, praise. When you want to be resentful, be grateful.
3) PRAY, PRAY, PRAY
We are not able to this on our own. It goes against our natural instincts, our fleshly desires. Believe me I know how hard this is...I am a coaches wife. But I also know I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength...including controlling my tongue. I want to be different than the world. I want to handle things different in the world. I want to be Christ like!
Will you join me? Will you join me in this fight to encourage one another...no matter what?
To God be the Glory:)

Still learning "mom" lessons...

My baby girl has turned 5! I can't believe it. I love my Chloe and she is truly a blast to hang out with, but man the drama. I am starting to think Pre-teen begins at 5. I have found myself asking God...Where does that drama come from...or the attitude.. or the rolling of the eyes...or the insecurities? These aren't anything I have told her how a princess of God acts. And then it happened...


A quiet whisper of my heavenly father, "What you want your daughter to become, you need to be." Wow!!! He is exactly right! I can tell her all day how to be, but if I don't show her by example, she will never buy into it. It is just plain hypocritical!


1 Corinthians 11:1 says, "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ."


I am her example. If I want her to find her security in Christ, then I must find it first. If I want her not to be disrespectful, I must not be disrespectful first. If I want her reflect Christ, I must reflect Christ first. If I want her to speak uplifting words, I must speak them first. If I want her not be materialistic, I must not be materialistic first. If I want her not to care what other people think, I must not care first. If I want her to pursue righteousness, I must pursue righteousness first. If I want her to love what she sees in the mirror, then I must love what I see in the mirror first.


I cant simply point her to the example of Christ, Nope, I must be the example of Christ in order to show her Christ. She needs to see encouragement in me. She needs to see being a servant in me. She needs to see purity in me. She needs to see modesty in me. She needs to see, holding my tongue, in me. She needs to see Jesus in me!


In the words of John the Baptist, "I must become less, and He must become more."


Here's to setting the example.....

Bring it!!!

Have you ever received a gift you didn't like? I have...I was probably around 10 and my grandma got me a sweatshirt with snowmen all over it. As far as I was concerned, I wasn't a baby anymore and that was a baby sweatshirt. aka...I was too cool for that gift. My mom quickly put me in place about what it means to be thankful when you are given a gift. Did you know that you have been given a gift and/or talent that was given to you by God to be used for God? Yes...You! It is hard to see our own gifts when others around us seem to have much better gifts...Right? Just like everything else, we tend to compare ourselves to others and most of the time, do not like the gifts we were given. Maybe you don't think it is significant...or maybe you don't see how God could use your gift or talent...or maybe you don't even think you have any gifts. As humans, our thoughts on gifts are similar to those on sin...worldly. The world puts sin into categories:bad, worse, worst. The world also puts gifts into categories: good, better, best. God looks at sin as sin, there are no rankings. He also looks at gifts the same way, as gifts. He doesn't see gifts with more visibility any more significant those those gifts that are behind the scenes. He just wants to know that you are using them to your full capability and for His glory, not for yours. Let me give you some encouragement from God's Word...
One of the most well-known miracles Jesus performed was the feeding of the 5000 found in Matthew 14:13-21:

(15) That evening the disciples came to him and said, "This is a remote place, and

its already getting late. Send the crowds away so they can go to the villages and

buy food for themselves." But Jesus said, "That isn't necessary-you feed them"

"But we only have five loaves of bread and two fish!" they answered.

"Bring them here," Jesus said. Then he told the people to sit down on the grass.

Jesus took the five loaves into pieces, he gave the bread to the disciples, who

distributed it to the people. They all ate as much as they wanted, and afterward,

the disciples picked up twelve baskets of leftovers. About 5,000 men were fed

that day, in addition to all the women and children!

Jesus told them to do something, and their reply was, "BUT Jesus we only have this to offer, it is of no significance" Jesus says bring me what you have and watch me work. He wants to do the same for you and me.

-But God, what do I have to offer? Jesus says bring me what you have and watch me work

-But God, my gift is of no significant? Jesus says bring me what you have and watch me work

-But God, I am nothing special. Jesus says bring me what you have and watch me work

If God can feed over 5000 people with two fish and 5 loaves of bread, just imagine what He can do with your gift...if you bring it to Him.

You can do one of three things with the gift God has given you: Hide it, Resent it, or Bring it.

In the celebration of the starting of a new football season, I challenge you to Bring it! Bring it to Jesus and watch him work. Your gift is important to the Kingdom of God whether you think it is or not.

Let's Bring it!!!

I'm Back From War...

Hey all!!! I am back from War!!! Well....sorta:) I have been doing FCA camps all summer and I am back in front of my computer again. Oh how I missed you! Was I really in a physical war? No, but I was in a spiritual war. It always seems to be a little bit more intense heading into camp season. Why? Because the enemy knows God is getting ready to move in the lives and hearts of kids across Oklahoma.
So what does it mean to be in a spiritual war? Just like any other war, we have an enemy who is out to still, kill, and destroy you and me (John 10:10)
The Bible says it this way in Ephesians 6:10-11:

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God

so that you can take stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against

flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against authorities, against the powers of this

dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

The first thing we have to recognize is that, as followers of Jesus, we ARE in a war. You don't have to be in full time vocational ministry, but simply a follower of Christ. YOU and I have been waged war upon because God loves us and Satan hates God.

The second thing we need to know is the tactics of our enemy. Before anyone prepares for war, they always look for the tactics, the weaknesses, the tendencies of their enemy.

TACTIC 1) He will always exchange the Truth for a lie

Common lies we believe are:

Lie-God could never use me, I have messed up too bad

TRUTH-God can use ALL things to the good for those who love Him and are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Lie-I will start living for God later, I've got time

TRUTH-You are not even guaranteed tomorrow. James 4:14

Lie-I am worthless, ordinary, nothing special, not beautiful

TRUTH-You are fearfully and wonderfully made Psalm 138:14

Over and Over we are fed lies about who God is, about who God says we are, and how God views us. Know the TRUTH and the Truth will set you free!!!

TACTIC 2) Minimizes our sin before and Maximizes after

I know this one and seen this one very well. You've been there....you justify your sin with "everyone is doing it" or "its not that big of deal" or "this makes me happy". Your spirit convicts you and you realize you are living a life not pleasing to God and you ask Him to forgive you. Then....the guilt and shame kicks in. Thoughts go through your head, "God will never forgive me" or "How can anyone love me after this" or "I will always be messed up" "I have asked for forgiveness so why is God not forgiving me, why do I still feel guilt and shame?"

Please know those thoughts and feelings are NOT God not forgiving you, It's your spiritual enemy not letting you forget. The TRUTH is as far as the east is from the west, your sins are far from you and there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Know the TRUTH and TRUTH will set you free!!!

TACTIC 3) Makes us think God is holding out on us.

We want to see what the world has to offer because what God has to offer is just not enough. God is holding out on us, He just doesn't want us to have any fun. No sex before marriage? Boo! Don't drink to get drunk? Boo! Don't tell off someone who has hurt me? Boo! Don't get this purse because I don't have the money to pay for it? Boo!

The second part of that verse we started with in John 10:10 is...."I have come so that you may have life and have it to the full." THE FULL!!! Not half, not part way, not a little bit, but the FULL! With Christ you will have everything you need: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Isn't that exciting??!!!

God is not withholding anything from you, but is willing to give you the fullest life we can imagine. We only have to believe the TRUTH.

We know we have any enemy and we know His tactics so what's next? You FLEE and you FIGHT! When you are being tempted with sin, you flee. You run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. When you feel like you getting beat down by life, you Fight as hard as you can. The Bible says in Ephesians 6:13:

"Therefore, put on the full armor of God so that you will be able to resist

the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will be standing

firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth, and the breastplate

of righteousness, shoes of peace, shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows

of the devil. Put on the helmet of salvation and take the sword of the Spirit

which is the word of God."

Our one weapon is the Sword of the Spirit which is the Bible. We can defeat him every time if we know what the Bible says. Know the Truth and the Truth will set you free!

So as you prepare for another school year and new football, basketball, baseball opponents, don't forget to prepare for your life opponent. I look forward to another great year!!! Whoop! Whoop!!